Man, I wish I had a Nickname..

At some point in an athlete's career, if he/she has a certain characteristic, this person will most certainly be given a nickname.  Names are given for a variety of reasons. Whether it's for pure skills such as "The Great One" for Wayne Gretzky, or pure size for Andre "the Giant" (does even he have a real name?)  nicknames are meant to add more to the person.

I think some my favorite nicknames make you remember the athlete in action. "The Flying Tomato" for Shawn White, or the "Nigerian Nightmare" for Christian Okoye, give you an immediate image of them dominating.

Some nicknames don't even need to define anything about the player, just a play on words from their name. "Crime Dog" for Fred McGriff (from Scruff McGruff) and "The Law Firm" for BenJarvus Green-Ellis are ones that come to mind.

I'll be honest. I've always wanted a nickname. A real nickname. A nickname that defined me a little more. Unlike Crime Dog, I don't want something that comes from my name. I've had enough Bitzy's, Roo's and Awesome Andy's (wait, that wasn't one) to last a lifetime. I mean if Bryant "Big Country" Reeves can have one, why can't I?

For a long time, I have dreamed of myself walking by some stranger on a street, and they would turn and say "woah, there's (insert awesome sports nickname for me)." Since no one else has taken the initiative for me, I have tried to be like Nyjer Morgan with "Tony Plush" to give myself another identity. 

Sometimes in pick-up basketball games if I hit a shot, I'll call myself "Hard to Guard" Bitz, but since I might miss my next 8 shots, it never sticks. Once I even tried to use the nickname of "Tractor" to get a tryout at a Division 1 SEC football program. Even with associating myself to large machinery, I still couldn't land a tryout. 

I suppose I need to accept I'll probably never have a cool sports nickname that makes sense. I bet there are actual athletes out there that secretly wish they too would have been given a nickname. I'm sure some others have thought "Why Can't I have a Nickname?"

Even Alan Alda (dude from "M*A*S*H*") once said "Almost everybody that's well known gets tagged with a nickname." Even though this quote came from an unlikely credible internet source, I think Alan is right. Athletes want a nickname.

Simply for the fact that these athletes do not have a memorable nickname, and I'm sure these athletes wish they one had one, I thought I'd help these guys out. Hopefully some of these will stick.

"Captain America" AKA Tom Brady. Tom Brady truly embodies the stereotype of the "All-American" dude. He's tall, well-spoken, a Quarterback, a MVP, a 3X Super Bowl champ, married to a Super-model, a Dad, and extremely marketable. Similar to Captain America, Tom Brady also has a shield with his flowing mane of silky hair. Finally, his team colors are red, white, and blue and he plays for the Patriots.

"Ace of Base" AKA Ricky Henderson. I did a little research (went to wikipedia) and apparently he already has the nickname "Man of Steal." I don't like that name because I haven't heard of it (so it must not be a good nickname, right?), and Ricky holds other records besides most career stolen bases. Other records such as most runs scored, and most leadoff HR's, were achieved by his outstanding ability to get around the bases. I hope Ricky won't mind sharing this name with the Swedish pop group.

"Average Joe" AKA Joe Mauer. Outside of his large contract, he is a pretty average guy. He's a calm, quiet guy that seems to just fit in the background. It would be hard to give him this nickname if he still played at a MVP level, but his play the last couple of years has been, well, average.

"Spanish Jewel" AKA Ricky Rubio. Although his play has been a little down this year, he still remains an exciting player, and shows there is great potential for the future. With Rubio (Ruby) coming from Spain, maybe he can be a real treasure for the Timberwolves. 

"Stubz" AKA Jermichael Finley. Anyone who has ever watched the Packers at any point has seen Finley drop a perfectly thrown ball from Aaron Rodgers. He must not have hands, but rather, stubs. 

"Hallelujah!" AKA Ray Lewis. Also, "I'll cry more than you to prove that I care", and "I'll keep taking off t-shirts during my post-game interviews with different messages on them" could work for Ray Lewis. 

"Red Lobster" AKA Martin Brodeur. Once again, I looked and Martin Brodeur is already known as "Satan's Wallpaper." As he has been a legendary goalie for the New Jersey Devils for more than 20 years, I understand that name, but I don't think it's catchy. Don't you think that if there were human-sized lobsters, they would make great goaltenders? I do. Martin Brodeur is the closest thing we have to a human-sized lobster.

Anyone else have any other homemade nicknames?

Weekend TidBitz

I'm going to share a few TidBitz (get it?). This will consist of a few topics I comment on briefly.

Manti Te'o Girlfriend Hoax-Is anyone else completely confused/bored by all of this? I feel like I need to put everything on a huge whiteboard to analyze all the facts/stories to decide what I really think. I wish Te'o would do an on-camera interview or press conference. Having Jeremy Schapp from ESPN discuss the off-camera interview he had with Te'o is not only unfair to Schaap, it also misrepresents what Te'o might be trying to say. Additionally, reading transcripts of their interview, with Schapp giving his opinions puts me to sleep. As embarrassing as it would be for Te'o, if he's telling the truth, he should call a press conference and just deal with this head-on.

Lance Armstrong-I think it's great Lance Armstrong has come out and finally admitted to most of his wrongdoings. Also, there is no denying how much he has done for cancer research and fundraising, while also being a major inspiration to people fighting cancer and for cancer survivors. Even in the light of his admission of guilt, there is no question he has made a very large positive footprint in this world.

Still, with watching the interviews he had with Oprah this week, I can't help but feel he is going through the motions. He appeared rehearsed and scripted, and lacked the type of emotion you would expect from someone who has deceived millions of people. I honestly didn't realize how many people he took to court to protect his lies. Nor did I realize how many times he used the reputation of his foundation as collateral to prove he never doped. Forgiveness for Lance? Sure, I can do that. But, is he 100% sorry? I'm not sure he is yet.

NHL-HECK YA. The NHL is starting up again today after a half-season lockout, and I am part of the 1% of Americans that actually care.  I have always been a big fan of the NHL, and there is no question the NHL has the most exciting playoffs in professional sports.

As far as my team, I will admit, I am a bandwagon Minnesota Wild fan. Part of my reluctance to go "all-in" on them season in and season out, still lies in the fact that I miss the North Stars, who left Minnesota in 1993. Since the North Stars left in the early 90's, I have become a fan of certain players rather than teams. From Chris Chelios and Peter Forsberg to Chris Pronger and Zach Parise, I have followed players, and in turn, the teams they were playing for.

As Barry Melrose has picked the Wild to go to the Stanley Cup Finals, and with the signings of stars Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, I might go from Bandwagon to Diehard Fan this year.

NFL Championship Games-Oh ya, there are two great games on tomorrow in the NFL playoffs. I still don't know who I want to win, as I have no vested interest in any of the teams. Colin Kaepernick was fantastic last week, but it's hard to see him running as well as against the Packers. He'll have to make some big throws for the 49ers to win. The key to the 49ers/Falcons game will be watching the stingy 49ers D against the extremely talented receiving corp for the Falcons. I think the 49ers lack of kicking game will be the reason the 49ers lose. My prediction:

Atlanta Falcons: 30
San Francisco 49ers: 28

For the Patriots/Ravens game, it's hard to bet against Tom Brady in the playoffs. Still, if anyone can do it in the AFC, I think the Ravens could figure a way to eek one out. Joe Flaaco appears extremely calm going into this game, which I think is a great sign for the Ravens. Unless the Ravens force 2 or more turnovers, they will lose. I don't see Tom Brady throwing any INT's, and his teammates shouldn't let him down. My prediction:

New England Patriots: 38
Baltimore Ravens: 24

Boxing-Random thought-what happened to the popularity of Boxing? I remember when I actually knew who the Heavy Weight Champion was. That was like 15 years ago when Lennox Lewis was still fighting. Have I just quit paying attention, or do less people actually watch those pay-per-view bouts like they did when I was little?

Nascar-Anyone reading ever watch a full Nascar race? Just curious...if I'm going to keep a sports blog going, I better talk about "the race", when there is one of course. If no one cares, I probably will remain uninterested in racing.

Still, the best Nascar joke ever came from my friend Pat McRaith:

Why did Dale Earnhardt die?
-God needed a driver.

Special note: Happy 8 month wedding anniversary to my wonderful wife, Cailin. You're a huge blessing in my life, and thanks for watching sports with me.

Manti Te'o-Lunch Time Thoughts

Ok, I'm eating my lunch, and for the reason that I'm just not willing to be patient for all facts to come out about the Manti Te'o saga, a lot of this is going to be based on what we know now, and of course some biased assumptions. This is a time in sports that is too good to pass up on, because tomorrow something new will happen, and this won't be as shocking anymore. Keep in mind too that I have been a life-long Notre Dame fan (because of my Grandpa). Also, as pathetic as it sounds I got goosebumps whenever I heard Manti speak this year, and I especially got chills when they showed him immediately before he ran on the field at the National Championship game. This story is so unbelievable that fans like me who would normally back our team and players, simply cannot.

Seriously, how do Manti AND Notre Dame expect us to believe this story? The only character I can think who would actually try to achieve something like this is George Costanza from"Seinfeld." Still, I don't know if Vandelay Industries compares to this.

Does anyone actually believe Manti wasn't apart of this hoax? If you still firmly believe him, and his story, think about this: 

-It's 2013. Things such as FaceTime and Skype have been around for a few years now. If you have a serious girlfriend who was just in a serious accident, and is dying of cancer, I would think at the very least you would use these tools to comfort her when you aren't present. But that brings me to my next point:

-It's 2013. Airplanes have been around for over 100 years by now.  People take airplanes everyday to visit places and people that aren't close to them. I would think at the very least you would want to meet your girlfriend, or maybe go and visit her after a serious car accident or while she suffers from a serious illness. If Manti can go home and visit Hawaii at anytime, why can't he go and visit/meet his girlfriend he was going to marry soon? Why wouldn't he?

-Even after Manti "received a call" from his dead girlfriend in early December, he still continued to talk about how much he missed his girlfriend and grandma. Wouldn't that call make you think that your lady was either actually alive (Surprise!), or that you were being misled in some way? Why would you continue to talk about her like she is gone?

-If you have seen Manti on camera, you know he is a well-spoken individual. On top of attending Notre Dame, a school that prides itself on high academic standards, it is actually impossible someone so smart could be tricked for so long. Maybe 1 week, or 2. But, not over a year. 

-There was a lot to gain for Manti to create this story. Based on talent/skills alone, NFL draft experts put Manti in a mid-late first round pick. Because of the intangibles that Manti was believed to have had (coping with both deaths and in the same week he got 2 INT's against Michigan), he had been put in a top 10, potential top 5 pick in the NFL draft. Top 5 pick vs. late first round can be the difference of millions of dollars. 

I cannot wait to hear Manti address the media today...

Bo Jackson on Steroids? What If...

Before I get into the hypothetical, let me say first-I do not condone doping of any kind for any level in sports.  Not only is it cheating and can be harmful to your health, it sets a standard to all athletes that it's OK to do it as well. I don't like that both men and women competitors feel the pressure to dope just to feel they are in a "fair" playing field.

Furthermore, athletes are in the spotlight whether they like it or not. Outside of perfecting their craft, I believe professional athletes should set an example of an even higher level of integrity than their fans, simply because, fans strive to be like them. For all athletes that have made choices to stay clean, and have done the most with what they were given through discipline and sacrifice, you rule. There, enough on that.

With confirmation this week that Lance Armstrong had in fact used performance enhancing drugs, it made me think. If, arguably the best cyclist of all time could win a record 7 consecutive Tour de France Tour titles, how many would he have won if he wasn't doping? How many Home Runs would Barry Bonds have hit? Mark McGuire? Sammy Sosa? Would the Ultimate Warrior even have had enough energy to shake the ropes in a 'roid rage in Wrestlemania VII to come back and beat "Macho Man" Randy Savage, if he hadn't been taking steroids? (RIP Macho Man). Even though I believe doping is wrong, I can't ignore my primal instincts to think it's pretty cool that some people who have been given such amazing God-given physical attributes have also scientifically enhanced their bodies to be even bigger, faster, and crazier.

But, looking at it another way, what would have happened if other players went dirty too? What about some of my childhood favorites who presumably stayed clean throughout their careers? Would Kirby Puckett have actually won a MVP? Could Barry Sanders have reached 3,000 yards in a season with a little juice? What about the pear-shaped Greg Maddux? He is definitely one of the best pitchers in the last 25 years. Maybe he'd still be pitching and have 40 lbs more muscle? What about Michael Jordan or Wayne Gretzky? Is it even possible for them to have been any better?

That brings me to Bo Jackson. There were 5-6 years in the 1980's-early 90's where Bo Jackson owned the sports world, and he was easily the most talented athlete. He is still one of the fastest and most powerful athletes of all-time too. He is one of the few players in MLB history to have hit a home run over 500 feet, and he also holds the fastest NFL combine 40 yard dash time ever with 4.12 seconds. Due to his athletic prowess, Nike launched the "Bo Knows" campaign, which highlighted him dominating in every sport (except hockey.) During this time, Bo played outfielder for the Kansas City Royals, where he was one of the best young stars. When the baseball season ended in September/October, he would hop on a plane and go play professional football for the Los Angeles Raiders. Even coming out of a long MLB season and not in "football shape", Bo was still so good at  running back, he started in front of Hall of Famer, Marcus Allen. During this short time, Bo was in a league of his own.

As Bo Jackson still remains unlinked to any type of steroid use or doping of any kind, I got to wondering...

What would Bo Jackson have been able to accomplish if he would have taken steroids? How much better would he have been at, well, everything? What if we saw this dominance, got greedy and science would have taken it one step further to create a Steroid-injecting Bo Jackson clone? What is the least amount of Bo Jackson's that could have made a football team or baseball team competitive?

Seriously, think about this. A 1988 Bo Jackson-on steroids, cloned multiple times. You could call them Steroid Bo Jackson Clones or SBJC. I bet all you would need were 6 SBJC's to field a competitive baseball team. (2 outfielders, 2 infielders, a pitcher and a catcher).  In football, 3 or 4 SBJCs max because no one would be able to tackle or even catch one of these SBJC's. How would Tecmo Bowl been able to produce a Bo Jackson on juice? He was already 5 times faster than everyone else!!

Of course, steroids, and other forms of doping can have negative consequences for your body almost immediately. So, it's possible that Bo, and other great athletes could have actually been worse off if they had chosen the dark path. Still, I can only imagine What If...

Being a Fan-Worth It?

Joe Brockman, my Grandpa, showed me at a very young age the amount of anxiety that comes along with being a true fan. As a lifelong Notre Dame college football fan, every game day, no matter how the game was going, he would sweat out the entire game.  No lead was ever big enough or safe enough. He was so superstitious that if my Grandma walked in the room and Notre Dame had a bad play he would tell her “That’s because you walked in the room. Get outta here!” If Notre Dame lost, his week would be ruined.  If they won, he felt more relief than joy. Luckily for him, Notre Dame was always very good in his lifetime (1924-1989) winning 11 National Championships.  As Notre Dame has had little success since his death (until this year of course), I imagine that if he were still alive today, he would be a very bitter old man.

I don’t think my Grandpa is a rare case, as I have seen the same type of behavior with several of my friends and family. Some people I know well (who will remain nameless) have certain affection for the Wisconsin Badgers and/or the Green Bay Packers. When their team is playing poor, and if you were watching these nameless people from afar, you would think that someone or something was putting great harm on someone they love.  When their team is playing especially poor (i.e. Wisconsin vs. Utah State 9/15/2012 or Green Bay vs. San Francisco 01/12/2013) you wouldn’t guess they are actually choosing to put themselves through this pain. There is no way anybody would put himself or herself in such an uncomfortable situation, right?

Watching this, and remembering my Grandpa, I sometimes wonder, is it all worth it? When have you gone too far, and started to care a little bit too much about a sports team?

I hate to say it, but I know these same emotions very well. However, I think that my team has brought more heartache than my Grandpa or these nameless people will ever know. The Packers have won 2 Super Bowls in the last 15 years, (not to mention many more before that) and the Badgers have been to what, 6 Rose Bowls since ’94? No matter how bad certain games are, these nameless people can always say to me, well, at least we’ve had all the good times. At least this doesn’t happen all the time. At least next year we’ll probably be good again. At least we’re not like you. Anything is better than being a Minnesota Vikings fan.

This sounds pathetic. I am actually taking time to explain my grief as a fan for my favorite team in sports. You could say that there are WAY worse things going on in this world. People are at war. People are starving. People are sick. There are literally billions of people in the world who do not have the basic liberties I have as to even root for a team. I get it.

Still, I can’t help it. Being a Minnesota Vikings fan in my lifetime hasn’t been easy.

Even in the sports world, it could be worse. Far worse. I could be a Chicago Cubs fan where my team hasn’t won a World Series since 1908. I met a guy last summer who has been a lifelong Cubs fan. He told me true Cubs fans actually hate the Cubs. I think I get it.

I could be a Cleveland (any team) fan (Cleveland Sports Worst Moments).  Even after the Browns came back as an expansion team, they are still brutal.

Or even worse, I could be a former Seattle Supersonics fan.  They left Seattle after choosing Kevin Durant 2^nd overall, and then have to watch a dynasty get established in Oklahoma of all places!

Still, the Vikings have given me a laundry list of disappointing defeats. Losses so painful, that they have literally stayed with me for more than a decade. Losses that have trained me to never get too excited about their success, because just when you think you have it in the bag…KERPLUNK!…season over.

I know there is more to being a true fan than to always see your team win. But, is there? Really?  Yes, the Vikings have had a lot of success in my lifetime, going to the playoffs about half the time since 1990, and having many exciting runs in the playoffs (especially this year). But guess how many Super Bowls the Minnesota Vikings have been to in my lifetime? Forget winning a Super Bowl (which they also haven’t done EVER), the Minnesota Vikings are the only NFC team besides the Detroit Lions (yep, the Lions) to not PLAY in a Super Bowl since I was born in 1983. C’mon!

You know your team is used to giving you disappointment when all you ask for is a Super Bowl LOSS. I don’t even care if they lose. Just give me the Vikings in the Super Bowl, some overrated commercials, Dr. Dre featuring Kayne West, Xzibit, Snoop Lion and Eminem at Halftime, and I will be happy as a clam.

You might think it sounds like I hate the Vikings, or I should give up and like another team. Or maybe I could get a different hobby when the leaves start to change. But, I love the Minnesota Vikings. I do. I will probably explain why I do in another entry. Every year I know anything can happen, and I convince myself we might have a chance to make a deep run.  I really have had some wonderful times with this franchise.

But, the truth is, for some reason, I remember the really bad moments (i.e. Spergon Wynn starting games in 2001) over some of the Best Moments. That is why these 5 moments stick out in my head when I think of my team, the Minnesota Vikings. None of these are good memories, and I can literally remember where I was, and who I was with when I witnessed these plays.  Some of these are no-brainers, and others maybe not so much. Such events as the Love Boat Scandal, the Whizinator, Metrodome Collapse, or the Herschel Walker trade do not count. Those weren’t games. And who cares about the Metrodome anyways? Also, I know I am missing like half of the Vikings over a 50 year history. I know I missed some good teams in the 70’s that equally disappointed. But, I wasn’t there, so it doesn’t count.

Ok, here we go:

5. Daunte Culpepper 2005 Knee Injury-Up until then, Daunte Culpepper’s career had been pretty fantastic. He had led to the Vikings to a NFC Championship, and had an unbelievable 2004 season. He gave Vikings fans hope. Hope that we might have finally found another franchise QB. Plus he was 265 lbs., and he could throw, and he could run. Well, not too well after this injury. Good bye potential Super Bowl. Welcome back Brad Johnson!

4. 2000 Lambeau Miracle Catch on Monday Night Football-This play had little significance in the long scope of things for the 2000 season, except this is just a typical bad play against our rival that has stayed with me. Packers win in OT. Oh, and I remember the game ended after 11, and I had a crappy cold for some reason. I should have been sleeping, but instead I stayed up to watch this: Monday Night Disgust

3. Brett Favre’s Interception in the 2009 NFC Championship Game-This could very well be 1 or 2, but everyone knew Favre had yet to throw that pass like he did so many times in his career. Just like he did when he played for the Packers in the 2007 NFC Championship Game against the NY Giants. I was just hoping he could have saved it for the Super Bowl. But, no.

He couldn’t resist. Sidney Rice was open, right? Didn’t matter. Saints win in Overtime, and end up winning their first Super Bowl. Not the Vikings. 

2. Arizona Cardinals QB Josh McCown TD pass against the Vikings in 2003. Oh man, this was tough. This play literally kicked the Vikings out of the playoffs ending their season, while also putting the Packers in. The 2003 Vikings became the first team in NFL history to start 6-0 and not make the playoffs. This video however is priceless. “NO!” Ahh man. Did This Really Happen?

1. Gary Anderson “Wide Left” in the 1998 NFC Championship Game. This moment has to be number one. The ’98 Vikings were literally one of the best teams in the last 20 years in the NFL. Yes, they were. If I ever had a chance to see my team in the Super Bowl with Dr. Dre, ‘98 was the year. And even at 14 Years Old, witnessing Gary Anderson’s miss was the moment I knew that this was a major opportunity blown and it wouldn’t come again anytime soon.

So after all of this, is it worth it to be so concerned about your favorite team year in and year out? Well, I suppose it depends on who you ask. I bet if you asked my Grandpa before he passed away, he would probably say it was. Or, the nameless Wisconsin/Green Bay fans, I’m sure it has been worth it for them too.

For me too, the time and energy I have put into the Minnesota Vikings has absolutely been worth it. I was reminded this year how fun it is to see your team to overachieve and play well. For every disappointing season we’ve had, it will make that season when we finally get to the Super Bowl and win it, SO worth it.